2017-2018 newspaper judges remarks
Coverage and Content
1. Coverage and Content
Strengths:
I think considering the special circumstances with your staff and they way the newspaper is run for only half the time, you put out an interesting and broad amount of coverage. Your staff is passionate about different ideas and does a good job localizing national topics. I particularly like the coverage about DACA and focus on the students. Because this is something real and relevant-- it’s current and well thought out. In terms of the sourcing you do have you do a good job interviewing and I can tell you are asking good questions because the quotes are “quotable”, meaning they add emotion or opinion to the story. Keep asking big questions! I understand the importance of 9/11 and I like the coverage of the event itself because it is relevant/newsworthy but I’m wondering why so much paper space is given to the event? The story about the FBI agent is heartwarming and have emotional value, I think having it at the forefront would have been a wiser choice. You have a good balance between community and school. The editorials and commentary are a place where you definitely shine. Your writers write great columns and have passionate viewpoints. You can tell they are writing about something from the heart. The use of personal examples helps to amplify the column and gives context for the reader. I was missing an editorial and it left me wondering about what is the entire staff view. Even though you don’t have a sports section, I think you can still find ways to cover sports in the area. Local games? Things students participate in outside of school. There has to be kids who skateboard, play soccer for a team out of school, run, exercise, lift weights. I think this is an uncharted area that has a ton of potential. Some of your photography is really well done! I like your action shots, when you catch someone in the moment. Some of the shots from the jazz concert are nice, the photos are framed well and the lighting appears to be good. The picture from the showcase where the student if Flamenco dancing, it amazing. I wish it was bigger on the page. You have a solid online/social media presence as well which shows, even though you only have two prints, you still continue to report. I really like how you published your poll results on your website, which shows high ethical standards in how you provide transparency for the readers. In terms of ethics and law it appears you are doing good here. The pages are clearly labeled for the reader and you do not appear to have any plagiarism and you do a good job crediting your photography.
Recommendations:
You have a good amount of coverage but I wouldn’t mind seeing more feature stories, personality profiles and alt copies. You have a lot of news online. Even though you only put out two issues a year, you could include some preview stories or briefs about upcoming events. You are able to plan for what is upcoming in the next month, why not have a few briefs to let your reader know about the events? Additionally, I would like to see a wider variety of sourcing in your stories. Many of the pages have stories from just one source and this is not good because it lessens the overall quality and credibility of the paper. Some of the stories have varying sources and multiple perspectives but any news story or feature longer than a 150 word brief, should have at least three sources. For example, the story about the mayor, while interesting, was just his story. One sided. There is a missed opportunity to take the story to the next level. Additionally I missed why a high school really cares about a new mayor. What are his plans for the students? Why should students care? Another example for a missed opportunity would be the DACA coverage. The story is so relevant and compelling. I could see your writers do so much more. For example they could have written an explanatory feature, an in-depth, etc. All would provide multiple views, angles and opinions. In terms of visuals, the paper is very text heavy and you need some elements to lighten the load. You include pull quotes but it still seems heavy with the darkened box. You excel at photography-- I would make sure you use it to your advantage with all of the stories. There were captivating images in some areas but in others, I saw a lot of posed photos. Focus on the in the moment and the reaction as well. For example, on the Trip to Washington story you include a postcard type of image of the trip but there are no images of students actually experiencing the moment. I think it’s important when you start designing a page and planning content, you think about what story do I want to tell? And what does my reader need to know? Let that drive your content. I really think an editorial and an editorial cartoon is needed in your paper. You have a great voice, you should combine it, form an editorial board and use it. I also think you can include more sports with your paper. It's true, you don't have organized teams but that doesn't mean students are not involved or interested in sports. You just have to think outside of the box. Do students exercise? Run? Lift weights? Do students participate in sports outside of school? How do students feel about the super bowl? Or other national sports you could take and localize. I think there is a ton of potential in this area.
Total points: 170 / 200
Mark of Distinction:
2. Text
Strengths:
In terms of reporting and the text you do a good job keeping the writer’s opinion out of the stories. Your writing included quotable quotes which show both opinion and emotion. The transitions while sometimes lacking, do propel the story forward and you have an overall good story structure. Since you can’t really write in the inverted pyramid type of structure for timely news you utilize a feature approach and it works for the coverage you provide for the reader. Leads are appropriate for the story but at times could be more compelling. The columns are a place where your publication shines. Your writing and examples provide well researched opinion and credibility for the publication. The first person is sometimes used but it did not bother me overall. The feature coverage is broad and the writing is narrowed focusing on the why and how of the story, this is a good thing. The paper is consistent in its writing and you seem to have a handle on AP style. Following a LQTQ type of structure, the pieces flow nicely. You have some variances in your sentence structure. All photos have a cutline which is excellent! You provide additional coverage for your reader through QR codes (very smart), which makes the text interactive for the reader.
Recommendations:
I feel your leads could be more varied and compelling. You have moments of narrative and description but a lot of th stories start with the who and some of them are summary leads, which work well for news but not feature. For example in the ‘Students honor 9/11 victims’, I’m assuming the reporter was at the event. This is a great opportunity for a descriptive lead to grab the reader into the story. Also, the ‘Chess club members play to win’, and the series on teachers bringing hope to their students, all start with the who which is not the best way to start off a story. Some of your transitions need work as well. I would want to see more paraphrasing/sourcing in transitions to show off the reporting. There are some awkward areas in your transitions. Make sure you can always answer the question, “who says?” and if you can find it in your reporting, then you’ve won! A good example of what I’m describing is the third graph of ‘Gaming is important to its players’ the transition is awkward and borderlines on opinion. In the story above it there are a few dead transitions as well. Saying, “Tony is another one of millions of fans Garrix has all over the world,” doesn’t add to the story. I think your headlines often appear as labels and could use more compelling and active verbs. Finding a play on words or a pun, especially with your reviews, would be something to try. Often a pop culture reference, or subtle play on words can really grab the reader in from the headline to the end of the story. Your cutlines are present which is great but many of them are repeating what is already in the story and not offering any new information. Or they are just stating the obvious. Some cutlines are great but others fall short. I would like to see consistency throughout. An example would be for the mayor story. You say he reacts in the cutline. Reacts to what? I don’t understand what new information you are are trying to give to the reader.
Total points: 75 / 100
Mark of Distinction:
3. Visuals
Strengths:
You have some excellent photography throughout and I can tell you have a skilled photographer. The photos match the stories for the most part, as well as the newsworthiness of the photos. I would love to see more of this type of photography throughout the paper. The chess club photo is nice because it includes the adviser who is in the story. Your photo stories have a great amount of skill and they are well laid out on the page. I did not see many illustrations however I like the cartoon you included on page 10 of your January 8 edition. It would be nice to see more illustrations included. I don’t really see many infographics. You have a few FAQ boxes in stories which is a good visual entry point for the reader.
Recommendations:
Some of the photography is posed. I know it’s difficult to get the candid shots but I would really strive for some action and reaction shots. Just having a person standing and smiling for the picture is boring and it does not add anything to the story. I would have illustrations with your columns. Additionally, an editorial cartoon would improve your publication. I would avoid student selfies, you have one as a mug shot for a column and another in the ‘Four share high school stories’, getting a quality image would be ideal. I think you should try some infographics at some point. Having some break down in data or numbers would be a good visual entry for the reader. I could see this in the DACA story, the test score column, etc. The overall look of the paper is dated and texty. Incorporating more illustrations, graphics and infographics would be a wise next step.
Total points: 75 / 100
Mark of Distinction:
4. Presentation
Strengths:
The front page appears to have important content and you do a good job with your jumplines and teasers for the issue. The flags are clean and your columns align to the grid, typical of a traditional broadsheet. You do a good job following the grid and making sure photos touch the headlines. Your headline font is appropriate and it works well with your copy text, you could look at varying weights in your headlines to create more hierarchy on the page. I really like the visual entry points you create with the QR codes, directing the reader to more online. I think this is really smart and a great way to bridge between print and digital. White space is sparse and you fill the page with content, headlines, photography, etc. I did not see any advertisements.
Recommendations:
You have consistency in type throughout but I would try to vary your headline weights to provide a visual entry into the page. You can use typography/headline weight to create a hierarchy. The most important story, should be at the top of the fold with a large dominant image. This should have the biggest/heaviest headline font/weight, and everything else should follow. I find a lot of the same size photos/story packages and my eye is lacking a place to look first. One way to help this is to think about what you want the reader to look at first, second, third. I think this approach would help your overall look of the publication. Most of the pages seem jam packed with words and content. I would lighten your pages and have more space between stories. Having a pica or two between creates a natural break, with a rule line. The shaded boxes behind your stories are dated-- I would work on airing the pages out and creating more space, allowing for a .25 rule line (keep it light), to provide direction and divides for the reader. I would change the heavy teaser on the front page of the paper. You should be able to have some teasers without having such a large anchor point on the front page. Centering your text should be avoided throughout. Left justified is fine. The body copy is fine but a bit heavy and difficult to read. I would try minion pro or another lighter serif font. There are no infographics throughout the publication. If you added them I think you would create another visual entry for the reader and it would help to break up your text and pages.
Total points: 75 / 100
Mark of Distinction:
5. Online/Social Media
Please award up to 10 bonus points for active social media accounts that complement the print publication.
Points: 10 of 10 bonus points possible
6. Judge's Summary Comments:
I really like your publication! The set up of your school/days is a definite challenge but you really put out a good product. There is always ways to improve and I would suggest looking at the Today’s Front pages from the Newseum to find inspiration to update the overall feel of the paper. I think including more visual entry points for the readers through a consistent pull quote format, infographic and fact boxes, you would make leaps and bounds. You have solid writing and structure but I would look to improve your sourcing (always have at least three!), and add an editorial with an editorial cartoon. You can do it! I can tell you have a great presence, passion and voice. This is a great recipe to make a change and represent the students at your school. Develop an editorial policy and an editorial board, see where it takes you. I would also find a way to cover sports. Just because you don’t have a team doesn’t mean students are not interested in sports. I think challenging yourselves to think outside of the box and create a sports section, would be a great step to increasing the overall quality of your publication. Good luck!
Score:
Coverage & Content: 170 /200
Text: 75 / 100
Visuals: 75 /100
Presentation: 75 / 100
Online/Social Media : 10
Total Score: 405 / 500
Marks of Distinction: (none)
Honor Rating: First Class
Judge: Kaitlin Edgerton
Strengths:
I think considering the special circumstances with your staff and they way the newspaper is run for only half the time, you put out an interesting and broad amount of coverage. Your staff is passionate about different ideas and does a good job localizing national topics. I particularly like the coverage about DACA and focus on the students. Because this is something real and relevant-- it’s current and well thought out. In terms of the sourcing you do have you do a good job interviewing and I can tell you are asking good questions because the quotes are “quotable”, meaning they add emotion or opinion to the story. Keep asking big questions! I understand the importance of 9/11 and I like the coverage of the event itself because it is relevant/newsworthy but I’m wondering why so much paper space is given to the event? The story about the FBI agent is heartwarming and have emotional value, I think having it at the forefront would have been a wiser choice. You have a good balance between community and school. The editorials and commentary are a place where you definitely shine. Your writers write great columns and have passionate viewpoints. You can tell they are writing about something from the heart. The use of personal examples helps to amplify the column and gives context for the reader. I was missing an editorial and it left me wondering about what is the entire staff view. Even though you don’t have a sports section, I think you can still find ways to cover sports in the area. Local games? Things students participate in outside of school. There has to be kids who skateboard, play soccer for a team out of school, run, exercise, lift weights. I think this is an uncharted area that has a ton of potential. Some of your photography is really well done! I like your action shots, when you catch someone in the moment. Some of the shots from the jazz concert are nice, the photos are framed well and the lighting appears to be good. The picture from the showcase where the student if Flamenco dancing, it amazing. I wish it was bigger on the page. You have a solid online/social media presence as well which shows, even though you only have two prints, you still continue to report. I really like how you published your poll results on your website, which shows high ethical standards in how you provide transparency for the readers. In terms of ethics and law it appears you are doing good here. The pages are clearly labeled for the reader and you do not appear to have any plagiarism and you do a good job crediting your photography.
Recommendations:
You have a good amount of coverage but I wouldn’t mind seeing more feature stories, personality profiles and alt copies. You have a lot of news online. Even though you only put out two issues a year, you could include some preview stories or briefs about upcoming events. You are able to plan for what is upcoming in the next month, why not have a few briefs to let your reader know about the events? Additionally, I would like to see a wider variety of sourcing in your stories. Many of the pages have stories from just one source and this is not good because it lessens the overall quality and credibility of the paper. Some of the stories have varying sources and multiple perspectives but any news story or feature longer than a 150 word brief, should have at least three sources. For example, the story about the mayor, while interesting, was just his story. One sided. There is a missed opportunity to take the story to the next level. Additionally I missed why a high school really cares about a new mayor. What are his plans for the students? Why should students care? Another example for a missed opportunity would be the DACA coverage. The story is so relevant and compelling. I could see your writers do so much more. For example they could have written an explanatory feature, an in-depth, etc. All would provide multiple views, angles and opinions. In terms of visuals, the paper is very text heavy and you need some elements to lighten the load. You include pull quotes but it still seems heavy with the darkened box. You excel at photography-- I would make sure you use it to your advantage with all of the stories. There were captivating images in some areas but in others, I saw a lot of posed photos. Focus on the in the moment and the reaction as well. For example, on the Trip to Washington story you include a postcard type of image of the trip but there are no images of students actually experiencing the moment. I think it’s important when you start designing a page and planning content, you think about what story do I want to tell? And what does my reader need to know? Let that drive your content. I really think an editorial and an editorial cartoon is needed in your paper. You have a great voice, you should combine it, form an editorial board and use it. I also think you can include more sports with your paper. It's true, you don't have organized teams but that doesn't mean students are not involved or interested in sports. You just have to think outside of the box. Do students exercise? Run? Lift weights? Do students participate in sports outside of school? How do students feel about the super bowl? Or other national sports you could take and localize. I think there is a ton of potential in this area.
Total points: 170 / 200
Mark of Distinction:
2. Text
Strengths:
In terms of reporting and the text you do a good job keeping the writer’s opinion out of the stories. Your writing included quotable quotes which show both opinion and emotion. The transitions while sometimes lacking, do propel the story forward and you have an overall good story structure. Since you can’t really write in the inverted pyramid type of structure for timely news you utilize a feature approach and it works for the coverage you provide for the reader. Leads are appropriate for the story but at times could be more compelling. The columns are a place where your publication shines. Your writing and examples provide well researched opinion and credibility for the publication. The first person is sometimes used but it did not bother me overall. The feature coverage is broad and the writing is narrowed focusing on the why and how of the story, this is a good thing. The paper is consistent in its writing and you seem to have a handle on AP style. Following a LQTQ type of structure, the pieces flow nicely. You have some variances in your sentence structure. All photos have a cutline which is excellent! You provide additional coverage for your reader through QR codes (very smart), which makes the text interactive for the reader.
Recommendations:
I feel your leads could be more varied and compelling. You have moments of narrative and description but a lot of th stories start with the who and some of them are summary leads, which work well for news but not feature. For example in the ‘Students honor 9/11 victims’, I’m assuming the reporter was at the event. This is a great opportunity for a descriptive lead to grab the reader into the story. Also, the ‘Chess club members play to win’, and the series on teachers bringing hope to their students, all start with the who which is not the best way to start off a story. Some of your transitions need work as well. I would want to see more paraphrasing/sourcing in transitions to show off the reporting. There are some awkward areas in your transitions. Make sure you can always answer the question, “who says?” and if you can find it in your reporting, then you’ve won! A good example of what I’m describing is the third graph of ‘Gaming is important to its players’ the transition is awkward and borderlines on opinion. In the story above it there are a few dead transitions as well. Saying, “Tony is another one of millions of fans Garrix has all over the world,” doesn’t add to the story. I think your headlines often appear as labels and could use more compelling and active verbs. Finding a play on words or a pun, especially with your reviews, would be something to try. Often a pop culture reference, or subtle play on words can really grab the reader in from the headline to the end of the story. Your cutlines are present which is great but many of them are repeating what is already in the story and not offering any new information. Or they are just stating the obvious. Some cutlines are great but others fall short. I would like to see consistency throughout. An example would be for the mayor story. You say he reacts in the cutline. Reacts to what? I don’t understand what new information you are are trying to give to the reader.
Total points: 75 / 100
Mark of Distinction:
3. Visuals
Strengths:
You have some excellent photography throughout and I can tell you have a skilled photographer. The photos match the stories for the most part, as well as the newsworthiness of the photos. I would love to see more of this type of photography throughout the paper. The chess club photo is nice because it includes the adviser who is in the story. Your photo stories have a great amount of skill and they are well laid out on the page. I did not see many illustrations however I like the cartoon you included on page 10 of your January 8 edition. It would be nice to see more illustrations included. I don’t really see many infographics. You have a few FAQ boxes in stories which is a good visual entry point for the reader.
Recommendations:
Some of the photography is posed. I know it’s difficult to get the candid shots but I would really strive for some action and reaction shots. Just having a person standing and smiling for the picture is boring and it does not add anything to the story. I would have illustrations with your columns. Additionally, an editorial cartoon would improve your publication. I would avoid student selfies, you have one as a mug shot for a column and another in the ‘Four share high school stories’, getting a quality image would be ideal. I think you should try some infographics at some point. Having some break down in data or numbers would be a good visual entry for the reader. I could see this in the DACA story, the test score column, etc. The overall look of the paper is dated and texty. Incorporating more illustrations, graphics and infographics would be a wise next step.
Total points: 75 / 100
Mark of Distinction:
4. Presentation
Strengths:
The front page appears to have important content and you do a good job with your jumplines and teasers for the issue. The flags are clean and your columns align to the grid, typical of a traditional broadsheet. You do a good job following the grid and making sure photos touch the headlines. Your headline font is appropriate and it works well with your copy text, you could look at varying weights in your headlines to create more hierarchy on the page. I really like the visual entry points you create with the QR codes, directing the reader to more online. I think this is really smart and a great way to bridge between print and digital. White space is sparse and you fill the page with content, headlines, photography, etc. I did not see any advertisements.
Recommendations:
You have consistency in type throughout but I would try to vary your headline weights to provide a visual entry into the page. You can use typography/headline weight to create a hierarchy. The most important story, should be at the top of the fold with a large dominant image. This should have the biggest/heaviest headline font/weight, and everything else should follow. I find a lot of the same size photos/story packages and my eye is lacking a place to look first. One way to help this is to think about what you want the reader to look at first, second, third. I think this approach would help your overall look of the publication. Most of the pages seem jam packed with words and content. I would lighten your pages and have more space between stories. Having a pica or two between creates a natural break, with a rule line. The shaded boxes behind your stories are dated-- I would work on airing the pages out and creating more space, allowing for a .25 rule line (keep it light), to provide direction and divides for the reader. I would change the heavy teaser on the front page of the paper. You should be able to have some teasers without having such a large anchor point on the front page. Centering your text should be avoided throughout. Left justified is fine. The body copy is fine but a bit heavy and difficult to read. I would try minion pro or another lighter serif font. There are no infographics throughout the publication. If you added them I think you would create another visual entry for the reader and it would help to break up your text and pages.
Total points: 75 / 100
Mark of Distinction:
5. Online/Social Media
Please award up to 10 bonus points for active social media accounts that complement the print publication.
Points: 10 of 10 bonus points possible
6. Judge's Summary Comments:
I really like your publication! The set up of your school/days is a definite challenge but you really put out a good product. There is always ways to improve and I would suggest looking at the Today’s Front pages from the Newseum to find inspiration to update the overall feel of the paper. I think including more visual entry points for the readers through a consistent pull quote format, infographic and fact boxes, you would make leaps and bounds. You have solid writing and structure but I would look to improve your sourcing (always have at least three!), and add an editorial with an editorial cartoon. You can do it! I can tell you have a great presence, passion and voice. This is a great recipe to make a change and represent the students at your school. Develop an editorial policy and an editorial board, see where it takes you. I would also find a way to cover sports. Just because you don’t have a team doesn’t mean students are not interested in sports. I think challenging yourselves to think outside of the box and create a sports section, would be a great step to increasing the overall quality of your publication. Good luck!
Score:
Coverage & Content: 170 /200
Text: 75 / 100
Visuals: 75 /100
Presentation: 75 / 100
Online/Social Media : 10
Total Score: 405 / 500
Marks of Distinction: (none)
Honor Rating: First Class
Judge: Kaitlin Edgerton